Dreams, Dreams, Dreams, is a Devil Ray

The Bruins skated off the ice for the final time last night in Montreal. Ah, we hardly knew yee. The Yankee’s little cousins, the Red Sox, are off to a good start, and a Kenyan won the Boston Marathon. All is as it should be. The police are corrupt, the firemen, lazy, and the Mayor is off in the corner chortling about something. Oh yeah, the Celtics are poised to make a run again. By again, we mean, for the first time in a long time. Down in the Keystone State, Obama looks tired. He’s beginning to look the way Ali did, a bit haunted by the idea of carrying the hopes of so many on his back. But remember, Ali stood along the ropes and took the pounding Foreman gave him before knocking him out. File that under lessons learned. And lest we forget, the Devil Rays are holding steady, sorting a few things out and ready to make the month of May theirs.


The Race For President is not a Devil Ray

Face it, in order to solve any of the problems created by the Bush Administration, the next president is going to have to have 7 balls (not gender-specific here) and 3 brains. In our view, we’re on a death-ride to nowhere. That, excluding the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, is that. We are doomed. In a 100 years, the last humans will be floating on a raft off the coast of a greatly diminished Greenland eating jellyfish. As our soldiers say in Iraq: Embrace the suck!

That being said, it is our pleasure to endorse Barack Obama for President because hoping for change is certainly better than any of the actual half-measures that we’ll take over the next 10 years to begin saving ourselves and the planet.

Devil Rays smoked the Twins last night. And Manny smoked the Yankees, among other things.

341 Pitches is not a Devil Ray

The Red Sox and Yankees played another tawny gem last night. 341 pitches were thrown by both teams, that’s not a typo. 30 hits, 24 runs, all neatly packaged in a 4 hour biblical replica of some epic tale. Someone has to stop this. These games are yawning black holes that are sucking the life out of baseball. At least, the Yankees won.

Even though we have our heads in the clouds, we’re not worried about this mini losing streak the Devil Rays are on. Things will turn around soon, trust us.

Stat of the week: Mike Timlin’s ERA is 27.00

Running Away is a Devil Ray

According to the New York Times today, An Iraqi army unit, fighting with American support in Baghdad ran away rather than fight when confronted with roadblocks thrown up by the Mahdi Army. The unit led by several members of the Boston Bruins (they’re not afraid, their gloves are glued on) plain refused to fight. Confusing you say? Hockey and Iraq? Maybe so. However, the fact remains: men don’t fight for corrupt regimes. It doesn’t matter if those regimes are run by the Jacob Brothers or George Bush. Mahdi Army 50 America 0. Canadians lead the series 3-1

The youngsters were swept by the Yankees last night and the Captain came off the bench to hit a pinch-hit home run for the Red Sox last night in Cleveland to break open a tie game, which, the Red Sox eventually won. The Devil rays will be content to play 500. ball until Kazmir’s return from the DL.

Meeting The Future is a Devil Ray

And the future is… Evan Longoria. Just called up by the Devil Rays, Evan has already gone Longballia. Already batting 444. in just his first 3 games, that, with 2 RBI’s, and the future is now. We have our 3rd. baseman for the next 10 years.

Tough night, though. We rallied in the seventh for 5 runs but dropped another one to the Yankees. No worries, THIS IS THE YEAR!

The Red Sox won (another 3:40 minute beauty) on a Manny Ramirez dinger in the 9th.

A Four Hour Game is a Devil Ray

The Red Sox and Yankees finished their series last night. It was after midnight and cold and wintry. Sure, the Red Sox won but at what cost? By the 5th inning, the game was already 2 1/2 hours old. That’s sick. Dustin Pedroia, twitching at his batting gloves, added an hour to the game himself. Stupid Red Sox.

Devil Rays took another game from the Birds and the youngsters are rolling. Yankees are in Tampa tonight. And Boston is filled with Montreal fans, down here for a playoff romp with the Bruins. Unemployed Red Sox fans are doing their laundry for them in exchange for Canadian dollars

A Tale Of Two Cities is a Devil Ray

Carlos Pena exploded last night with 2 Home Runs and 6 RBI’s. David Ortiz, on the otherhand, imploded. Big Papi, couldn’t buy a teabag with what he’s hitting. He’d happily take Pena’s output last night for the season so far, and Pena could give it to him and still have better numbers: 3 homers, 6 RBI’s. My, how the mighty have fallen. Ladies and Gentlemen, your last place Boston Red Sox.

And yes, the Devil Rays won last night after being behind Baltimore most of the game. And this, with half the team on the DL.