The Red Sox As Historical Figures (Part 2) is a Devil Ray

Julio Lugo- General Santa Anna. Funny how victory can seem like defeat. Imagine, breaching the Alamo’s walls and under a black flag killing all who resisted you only to discover that they became heros and you- an object of ridicule. Well Julio, say hello to Orlando Cabrera, Edgar Renteria, and Alex Gonzalez.

Hideki Okajima- Well into the 1970’s, Japanese soldiers, on many a Pacific Island were still hiding and unaware that WWll was over. Where was Hideki hiding all this time?

Dustin Pedroia- Shirley Temple. Another film star, we know.

Kevin Youkilis- Insert any historical figure you want here, as long as they died young.

Wily Mo Pena- Seeing as the only thing bigger than the holes in his swing are his biceps, we’ll have to compare him with another inept big man- and we can’t think of any.

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